Warning - there is one (now two) slightly graphic photo(s) of the sutures. Don't be eating your donuts while reading!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Can't wait to get this over with!
On the ferry, looking into the sun. It felt nice, but damn was I anxious. I'm usually pretty good at calming myself, but I guess when you haven't been under the knife since childhood, and you know it's a major joint surgery, it's sort of expected. The other aspect adding to anxiety, is that I was questioning whether or not I should be doing this now. I could limp along and get more used to the easy chair, drink more beer, gained a few more pounds, watch the hypertension creep up,.... That wasn't going to cut it, though. I missed the days of being able to climb in the trees with the kids and set up ziplines, or chainsawing in the wood lot and being able to do it for more than hour without having several days of pain to follow, I missed being able to tie my shoe without pain. I had already forgotten about soccer and running, and sort of forgot about bicycling, just because things had deteriorated enough. Those became distant to me even though it had only been a year since doing them. I simply wanted to be able to sit in a picnic table again.
On the other hand, I spent a year researching this topic, looked at all the options, participated in the Hip Talk Forum, created my own 3-ring binder on the topic that my coworkers harassed me about, and with all the questioning I was doing, I would always end up telling myself, "I wouldn't be here if it wasn't the right decision".